Sunday 26 July 2015

If you resist anything, it will persist

“The only proper way to eliminate bad habits is to replace them with good ones.”Jerome Hines

       Most of us use to make commitments to give up  bad habits or unwanted habits. We initiate  effort to  to give up, but  end up with failure as habit will never give up us!!! .

       The study shows that during the process of giving up any bad or unwanted habits, our mind focuses more on resisting the habit and in this process we are losing our mental strength. Instead, focus on developing new habit  or divert your  time on something new habits while setting the mind to give up the unwanted habit. In this process mind focus on a new habit forming and this increase mental strength  than  focusing on to resist.

         For example, if you want to give up the habit of spending too much time on browsing net.If you focus to give up, your resistance will weak your mental strength and likely you may not succeed. Alternatively, while to decide to give up the habit, take new habit like  spending time with closed one or writing or reading, etc. and focus on continuing new habit. Eventually, your focus on new thing will help you to  succeed in new things as well as  diverting you from unwanted habit.

It is because what you resist will persist and what you positively focus will flourish!

Wednesday 15 July 2015

Invest in yourself

“Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make.It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.”—Robin Sharma

          At one time a bird asked a BEE, “After a continuous hard work, you develop the honey, but a man steals the honey… Do you not feel sorry about that? . Then the Bee replied, “Never.. because a man can only steal my honey, NOT  the art of making honey..

         Sometime in professional life, your work may not get the timely recognition  or somebody may claim credit for your work. In business association, someone may exploit you  and your ideas without rewarding you. Those are the moments are only temporary and short term in nature. The surroundings or others  can only temporarily halt your progress. No one permanently stops your growth. In the long term, your unique talent will become discovered and acknowledged.


         Keep investing on your skill and talent development. Keep investing your time on managing yourself, ethics, purpose, character, motivation and conduct. You will attract good things in life!

Breaking limiting beliefs

“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is  more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.”-Tony Robbins

         Most of us have inhibition to set high standards or aspiring big .One of the reasons is that the mind is always looking for some reference or role model to get convinced. Once we  believe that something is possible based on the reference, we also may achieve or even surpass the earlier standard.

         For example, till 1954, no one  believed that man can run a mile in less than four minutes.Even medical experts concluded  that it could not be done and humanly impossible. Roger Bannister, an athlete from British smashed the belief by running a mile in 3 minutes and 59.6 seconds. The breaking the record was  commendable, but what happened afterwards, which I think is worth to mention. After he broke the record in 1954, over the next few years, more than forty people run a mile  in less than four minutes. They broke their limiting belief  on seeing the record .Today it has become possible and standard.

         In business or in a professional environment, if you want to achieve new heights, but lacks courage, look around what others had achieved and set the base. This will give confidence or will help you to break the limiting belief.Once  you break the belief, you can also achieve and even may surpass the already achieved standard.Always break the limiting belief and you attract the good things in life!!


Foster relationship for happy life

“People may hear your words,but they feel your attitude.”-John C Maxwell

                Building relationship with others is important for successful  and happy life as  we always rely on others for support and guidance .The relationship shall  be with our parents, spouse, children, friends, boss, peers, subordinates,customers and all those are interacting with us on day to day basis. How can we build and nurture the relationship?

           One is to accept the people as they are.By creation,each one is unique and has different in characterization. We cannot expect others to behave as we are. We need to realize this fundamental fact and appreciate the positive sides of each individual rather than finding fault with others. Once we find fault and criticize, relationship gets strained.

           Second is to develop the trust and it is long term process. On a short term basis, if we build relationship with the intention of what is in it for me attitude, it won’t last long. We need to gain the confidence of others by demonstrating the behaviors which we expect from others.

           Relationship is a two side mirror glass thru which we are seeing others and others are seeing us. If the glass is broken due to discourteous words or rude behavior, it is difficult to re-form. So Let us foster relationship and be happy! ..         


Interpretation of experience matters

“Deep Experience is never peaceful.” --Henry James

       Our maturity and growth evolves to the extend to new experience. Even then, experience alone does not make much impact of growth. The way we  interpret  the experience makes a big difference.The experience  can be  good or bad feeling, but how we internalize the feeling with a right spirit  matters a lot.Otherwise the experience may be passing through as just an event in life.  

       For example, two friends are watching the same movie together, but both  may have different feelings about the movie, because  they interpret the experience in a different way.

       One more example from the history is that millions of people  had experienced  humiliation by the British rulers as same as Mahatma Gandhi. But he interpreted the experience in a different way that   made him to lead Ahimsa movement against  the British. The interpretation makes a difference.

        Similarly, in your professional or business environment, you may go through tough times or may get different feedback about your performance from your peers. It makes a positive impact on you only when you take the experience, interpret in a positive intention. That makes a beginning for the new person in you!!!

Past # Future

“Past does not equal to future.” –Anthony Robbins

      Everyone may experience  setbacks in life either in business or in professional endeavor or in financial aspects. But how quickly we learn from the setbacks and change the strategy is all about real growth.By nature of the design, no one  will be going through continuous success  or continuous failure throughout the life.

      Most of us have a tendency to get into  the hopelessness emotion  during setbacks  and  too much celebration or noisy  during success.  Remember the phrase “Past does not equal to future “ in both good and bad times.

If your past is painful:

Remember past does not equal to the future. Learn from the failures or pain, change the strategy  and approach the life with the new way. The new approach will give different results..

If your past is so successful :

Remember past does not equal to the future. Do not be too complacent about the past. Feel good about the past, be grateful and accelerate  the strategy for being more successful or sustain the success.

Since the law of nature is “ Change “ and it cannot be avoided, Hence, whatever happens, enjoy the experience, welcome the future with confidence and hope as past does not equal to the future!

Self-efficacy

“In order to succeed, people need a sense of self efficacy to struggle together with resilience to meet the inevitable obstacles of life.” —Albert Bandura


      Self-efficacy can be defined as one’s belief in his ability to succeed in specific situations. The success or failure in whatever situation is generally depends on individual‘s belief in his ability to face the situation. For example, if you are venturing into new business or new initiatives in your professional environment, more than environmental factors which alters the result, your belief about your capability gives you all strength to manage any challenges during execution.

      People with high self-efficacy are more willing to take action, especially on new activities. They stay longer in the face of challenging times. Now the question is whether this quality is inborn or can be developed by anyone. The answer is a high level of self-efficacy can be developed by anyone with little effort.

      One of the ways to develop self-efficacy is through observation. It is demonstrated through study about a person with phobia and the person’ self-efficacy about managing the phobia is improved when he observed fellow phobic struggled with and overcome their phobia.


       Similarly, if you observe your role model for any of his excellent qualities, you can also gain the belief about your capability. It is a simple proposition that “if it is possible by others, it is possible by me “. Who could be your role model to observe and learn?