How to identify your core values?

 How to identify your core values?

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

Having discussed the importance of knowing our values and their influence on our behavior, actions, and decision-making speed, let us understand the step-by-step process of identifying our core values.

The identification process is iterative, and anyone can do it by themselves through analysis. It may be challenging for some people to identify by themselves, and for those, i recommend seeking help from the coaches.

Values are nothing but some of the principles we stand for or the importance or priority we give in life for most of the time. Those values will drive our behaviors, decisions, and actions on a personal and professional front.

Whether we realize it or not, each one of us has inherent values within us that are driving us every moment. We might have acquired from our parents, childhood experience, or even with current experiences. The more we are sure about our core values, it will help us make the right decisions during challenging times and emotionally healthy.
 
How to identify the values?:
 

1. Go through the list of values and identify the favorable values with which you are associating yourself frequently or the unfavorable values which you do not like to be associated with. Given below some of the lists of values, you may get more than 200 values when searching on the web. My suggestion would be not to get into the searching for a list, and you do the self-analysis, identify and label on your own as it would reflect you correctly without bias.

Favorable Values:

Growth /Love / Challenge / adventure / Pride in achievement / making difference / individuality / creativity / passion / honesty / integrity/stability / freedom / achievement / contribution / gratefulness/ courage/ expressive / fun / harmony/ power / peace/happiness/secured/ intimacy /sense of control/intelligence/ success/ sharing /giving / family/ career / money/ compassion/Loyalty/connections/commitments/Health / Nature/ relationship/ risk taking
 
Unfavorable Values:

Anger/ Guilty / Being control/ rejection / failure/ insecurity/ jealous/ sadness/ humiliation/ victimized/worry/ instability/ mediocre

2. First, choose the top 10 values you are associating with either favorable or unfavorable values, and further analyze and bring to the top 3. It would be challenging to prioritize the top 3 values. In that way only, you are clear about your values.

As said, this is an iterative process. The more you spend yourself, the more clarity on your preferences.

The awareness of your preferences, principles, or what you stand for gives more clarity to deal with life challenges. Internally, it will help you have a balanced emotional level. Also, it allows you to design your professions inline with your values.

Why is value alignment required?

 Why is value alignment required?

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

In continuation of last week's discussion, the quality of work depends on the emotions we are driven to work, either pleasure or pain. In simple terms, when we like the task, the quality of work will also be better.

Similarly, from a larger life perspective, when we align what we like to do and what we do, the quality of life will be relatively good. Here, what we want or prefer, or what is important to us, is called VALUE.

When there is VALUE CONFLICT between what you like to do and what you do most of the time, it will affect personal and professional performance. It leads to suboptimal performance compared to the potential.
 
For example,

you give more importance to CREATIVITY as your value, and your work environment is not conducive for demonstrating creativity. It will create value conflict inside of you that leads to low-level emotional experience.

You may prioritize making more money in life (who does not give priority?), that is one value of you, and at the same time, you would like to give importance to being in comfort without much effort, that is also one value of you. If you have both values internally, you will be undergoing guilt as basically, both values do not align or match together.

Knowing your dominant preference in life and resolving the conflict preference of values are essential for personal and professional achievement.
 
Let us learn the structured process of identifying the core values next week.

Why should you know your VALUES?

 Why should you know your VALUES?  

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 As we discussed the VALUES as a prime step towards achievement orientation, let us understand the need to realize the value by self.

We are driven by mostly two emotions, viz happiness (pleasure) and sadness (pain). Either we want to maximize the pleasure in any activities/circumstances or minimize the pain as much as possible. The outcome of the task depends on the emotional mix of pleasure and pain.

For example,

When your boss/ colleague asks you to prepare a presentation content, you may have two choices in executing the task. If you like preparing the presentation content, you want to maximize the pleasure of the preparation process. Hence you will be striving to give your best.

If you do not like the presentation preparation task and at the same time, you do not want to lose your boss/colleague's confidence or relationship, which you perceive as painful. To avoid the pain, somehow, you complete the preparation with a half-hearted effort.

In both choices, your presentation quality is based on the emotions you are undergoing in the task, maximizing the pleasure or minimizing the pain.

Now you can relate any task or circumstances in your professional context, you will realize you are driven by those two basic emotions only.

The key point is when you are driven by the emotion of pleasure, your quality of work is excellent, and when the emotion of pain guides you, your quality of work may be substandard.

The emotion comes from your like / dislike, which i term as your PREFERENCE or INTEREST or VALUES.


 

 
Life is a series of events or circumstances, and if we ensure most of them are inline with maximizing pleasure, our effectiveness would be high.
 
We need to learn how to identify our likes/dislikes or Interests or preferences or VALUE and align life inline with VALUES.

Let us learn the process of identifying the values and their significance in the coming weeks'.

Overcoming Envy (Contd..)

 Overcoming Envy

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we mentioned, some of the simple and powerful approaches to overcome envy last week. We discussed developing an abundance mindset by counting your blessings as one of the approaches. Let us discuss other approaches.
 
 

• Counting your blessings
• Setting your standard and compare
• Learn the nature of creation
• Appreciating the goodness frequently

Setting your standards and compare:
 
Envy as emotion disturbs us mainly due to comparing ourselves with others' success and scarcity mindset. To counter that state, we always need to set standards for us in terms of engagement. That could be learning new skills, taking new initiatives, or meeting new people. When we commit ourselves to many activities, our focus shifts to a new horizon rather than dwelling too much by comparing ourselves with others.

I know one of my managers cum mentors used to keep him always engaged with some activities even though his boss did not insist. He never indulged in comparing himself with any of his colleagues or even in any gossip or low-level activities. I learn from him to set a standard self and chasing the standard rather than giving yourself low-level emotions.

Also, when you have some priorities and comparing yourself against your standard, that boosts your self-worth.
 
Learn from nature:

As mentioned many times, the law of nature suggests that nothing is permanent in this world, and everything will go changes as cyclic. If you compare yourself with others, and feel about the shortcoming of the skills or the success of others, wait for your turn. When your intention is right and keeps raising your standard, you eventually get what you deserve.
 
Appreciating the goodness frequently:

When you observe any great people and their interviews, one typical pattern is the demonstration of appreciation. Recently I met a successful entrepreneur who ventured into many businesses and turned into a successful. During the discussion, someone mentioned their competitor in the conversation. The moment he heard about a particular competitor, he elaborated on their positives in some markets and appreciated them. Not even once, he said any negatives about the competitor. That is the mindset of highly successful people when they compare themselves with others.

Generally, we can appreciate others only when we operate at a higher emotional point. To counter envy emotions, we need to be conscious of our high-level emotions.
 
To sum up, envy is a most dangerous emotion than any other low-level emotion. We need to be conscious about that and choose any combination of approaches to be in a high emotional state for our own sake of well-being!

Why do we envy others?

 Why do we envy others?

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

One more emotion or feeling that disrupts our well-being and productiveness in the workplace is envy.

Envy is a feeling of discontent or unhappiness about other's success, advantages, or possessions.

We develop envy when we see others have something we wish to have. It could be personal qualities, skills, success, positional status, materialistic advantages, and opportunities.

for example, 

We become sad, angry, or resentful, 
when someone is getting appreciation or being noticed in the workplace
when someone is having some skills or other qualities than us
 
How is envy getting developed?
 
 One of the habits that most of us have is to compare ourselves with others. Initially, it starts with inspiration or general reference; eventually, it becomes envy. The process of comparison goes like this. We start comparing with others on skill sets, competency, possession, etc., start amazing, and then eventually looking at self, finding the gap, start feeling as inferior, becoming self-pity and weak. When we repeat the comparison habit with many people, we eventually conclude that “I do not have much positive qualities or possession, and  I am not deserving of greatness.”The self-pity becomes envy.
 
 The strange thing in the comparison process is that we compare and envy only our known circle or at the same level. For example, a rich/poor person compares him/ herself against another rich/ poor person and envy it. Most of the time, we may compare ourselves with our colleagues or friends’ level only, not on a higher level, says boss or beyond our network.
 
How does envy affect us?

Unlike other emotions, envy is something more inward and harmful than other emotions.

1) Internally, we lose our self-esteem as we always feel a scarcity/shortage of something when we keep on comparing with others. Lack of self-esteem will invite all the troubles, as we have discussed in many articles.

2) Externally, we express our emotions into rude behavior, criticizing other’s success with our own opinions

3) We lose our identity and focus of our priorities
 
Even though getting envy is a universal emotion of all human beings, which may vary with the hierarchy, we need to control with a clear borderline of inspiration and envy.

Let us discuss the approaches next week!

Dealing with fear -Recognize it !

 Dealing with fear -Recognize it !

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

Last week, we discussed FEAR and its dimension. Fear is unique to each individual, and through awareness and structured process, we can overcome some of the imaginary and fact-based fears.

In my personal experience, there is 3 step approach to deal with any fear.

• Recognize
• Subsidize with rational thinking
• Confront through Action

1.Recognize:

First, we need to be aware of the reality that we are afraid of something. This step calls for self-introspection and honest ourselves to admit the fear.

We tend to display some of the behaviors or patterns when we have Feared of something

1. Try to be a high perfectionist to avoid criticism or rejection
2. Try to procrastinate the activities by citing some reasons
3. Want to say NO but not able to do so
4. Hiding behind excessive work or social media or other distracting activities
5. Micromanaging the task of self and others

 Fear is an emotion; the individual only can identify the inherent pattern related to fear and acknowledge it. Once you recognize the pattern, you are in a position to address it.

For example, one of my clients struggled with micromanaging and was comfortable doing the task himself. During the probing process, he realized and admitted his fear of delegating the job to someone as they spoil his reputation. That moment is the turning point for transformation. The moment he recognized the fear, he was ready for the next step in dealing with the fear.

The key is to recognize the feeling of fear. 

The action point is to list down all the fear you have in all aspects of life and classify the fears like fear of rejection, failure, visibility, success, etc. Also, categorize them, whether imaginary or fact-based.That is the first step in dealing with fear, either imaginary or fact-based!

Let us discuss the other two steps next week.!

Misconception about empathy and performance

 Misconception about empathy and performance

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

One of the responses for last week's discussion on "empathy or looking at the things from other's views" is that if we start looking at things from other's views, that leads into lenience and, in turn, mediocrity in the performance, particularly in a professional environment.

We need to understand the slight difference between empathy and being lenient.

Empathy means we listen to other's views and recognize the cause in it. That does not mean that we are accepting the consequences as such.

For example, let us imagine a typical scenario in the workplace,

One of your junior colleagues on a particular day left the office early due to personal issues. He/she may be the authorized person for a financial transaction, and he/ she had not delegated the task to anyone on that day. Due to his/ her absence, the important financial transaction did not happen, which affected your organizational performance.

In this scenario, as a manager/leader, what choices you had the next day when the junior colleague reported the duty?

Choice 1:

You might have displayed your dissatisfaction with the performance without listening to his/ her situation. In this process, both of you experienced negative emotions or hurt personally.No learning from low performance.
 
Choice 2 :

You might have listened to personal issues, and both of you felt sorry about the performance. In this process, you are lenient and accept mediocre performance.
 
Choice 3:

You might have listened to personal issues, acknowledged it and you might have assertively conveyed your dissatisfaction and his/ her lack of delegation to the work. You made him/ her responsible for not completing the task.He/she might have learned from the mistakes.
 
Choice 3 is the appropriate method of understanding others and ensuring the right management process in place.

Most of the time, we are witnessing either choice 1 or 2 in which mediocre performance is encouraged.

 i recall an incident that happened to me some years back. I drove my car first time in a new city and violated the signal as I was not familiar with the signal points and free left etc. A traffic policeman stopped me and got my license. I briefed him about my first-time driving and lack of awareness about the signal points. He listened to me and advised me to be careful in city driving. But he was firm to charge me fine as punishment and I also paid. In my view, the policemen were very empathic about my ignorance but, at the same time, firm on his duty. That is what required for the people who are at the commanding level as a manager or leader. Just imagine if the policeman displayed choice 1 or choice 2  behavior, then we both were not doing justice to ourselves as humanity consideration or duty consciousness.!
 
The point is being empathetic does not lead to lenience; you need to be firm on your role as a leader in a professional environment for ensuring performance!

Looking from other's view

 Looking from other's view

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

As we have been discussing the method of channelizing or regulating the emotions in the workplace, one more effective approach is "looking at the things from other's view."

In most human interactions, everything is right or wrong from the person's standpoint, exposure or experience, context, and timing only.

When i am considering my decision is right, that is based on my experience, my today's context and that decision may be proven wrong by some one's point of view from their expertise, background, and timeline perspective. When we realize this truth, we can develop the ability to look at things from other's views.

This ability will help us to channelize or regulate emotions like anger, frustration, jealousy from competitiveness into positive emotions.

For example, you may get momentarily anger with your junior colleague's quality of work, say preparation of the presentation. When you understand his/ her background, experience, you may realize their weakness, which will help you to cool your emotions and divert into compassion to develop him/ her.

I am not advocating other's mistakes to be accepted as such, but for every error of others, if you suffer from negative emotions, it is not going to help you. Instead, if you develop the ability to recognize the causes for the mistake or low performance from other's perspective, at that moment, that will make you be in positive emotions.

Some people are good at look at things from other's perspectives, and it is a skill to be developed!

Dealing with Anger

Dealing with Anger
(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we outlined the importance of channelizing each emotion for positive turnout in the workplace and each emotion needs different strategies, now let us understand more about dealing with anger as an emotion.
 
When do we get angry at the workplace?

Most of the time, we do get angry when things are not going as we expect. Typically, the following are some of the scenarios we lose coolness or normal state and get into the agonized mood.

1. When someone repeatedly says something against our views, and we are in a situation neither to accept others' opinions nor in a position to convince others to our views.
2. When someone is pointing us for fault with or without logic, and we are in a position not to accept our failure openly. Also, not in a position to defend our case.
3. When we have higher expectations or standards on something or someone and, in reality, when we face less than expectation or standard, suddenly, the anger burst out.

You can think and relate some of your experiences where you get the anger.

In all the above situations, you can see some typical patterns as follows.

1.NON -ACCEPTANCE of the reality in a particular moment
2.Our INABILITY or lack of courage and skill to face (Helplessness)
3.Lack of patience to get the full picture
 
The internal pattern manifests outside either by way of shouting or abusing or hitting physically or going out of self-control.

Whether anger is bad all the times?
 
Anger is one of the natural emotions, and we can not outrightly say it is wrong. The anger becomes worthless only when it is used for silly reasons with the inappropriate people.

When anger is used for higher purposes with the right people, it turns out to be positive and the right people also perceive it in a proper perspective.

One of the best examples of converting the anger into the positive turnout would be Mahatma Gandhi's life as we read when he faced the humiliation by the British which turned out as anger. Instead of directing the anger to give it back either by way of verbal or physical violence against the British, he channelized the anger into a nonviolent momentum and created a new history.
 
When we read such a historical incident, we move on as extraordinary incidents.

But in a  day to day life, some effective people are good at channelizing their anger into a positive experience and let us discuss those real examples next week.!

(Appreciate your personal experience of how the anger impacts you at the workplace!)

 

Channelizing the emotions

Channelizing the emotions 
(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we have discussed the first part of managing emotions in the workplace as "self-awareness, "the second part is "channelizing the emotions" for the growth.
 
What is meant by channelizing the emotions?
 
Every moment we are undergoing different emotions like happiness, sadness, fear, frustrations, anger, and so on. We have two choices in recognizing and managing emotions. Either we use it for our advantage or turn it for a disaster for us and our surroundings. Channelizing the emotion is more about how to recognize the emotion and direct it for betterment for us and the surroundings.
 
Why the channelizing the emotion is important?
 
When we do not know how to channelize the emotions, it hits us back by way of losing peace, losing focus on higher-level growth-oriented activities. Sometimes when we are not keeping the perspective right, the emotions affect our health as well.
 
Hence awareness is required to handle different emotions with different methods as we are dealing with a mix of both positive and negative emotions in everyday transactions with others.
 
For example,
 
In our workplace, predominately, we have the following emotions in our day to day interactions with our colleagues/team/boss and even with the customers.

• Anger (when the things do not happen  as we expect)
• Jealous (when some of our colleague's / competitor does well than us)
• Frustration (when we do not see the result for our effort, or someone does not recognize our work)
• Insecure (when we do not know the direction of future on job/business)
• Feeling low (we do not know what to do in a particular moment; less motivated)
• Irritation (when we work with the person whom we do not like to work)

You can add on the list from your experience!

Each emotion calls for different strategies to channelize the emotions and if we are aware, that will help us for growth.

Let us discuss each emotion and the method of channelizing in the coming weeks!

Aware of Life Balancing

Aware of Life Balancing
(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)
 

As we are discussing the importance of self-awareness in managing emotions, one more methodology of self-awareness is to be aware of your balancing status in all aspects of life.

Some people list up to 24 aspects of life. To simplify it, i classify the life aspects into six areas like professional growth, relationship, health, wealth, maturity, and social contribution, as shown in the below radar chart. We should progress in all aspects at the same pace. That is  Life balancing.

When you measure the current balancing profile status in each aspect, you become aware of improvement areas.


                                           
You can do self-assessment in each aspect and see yourself about balancing profile.

For example,

on professional growth, considering your education, experience, if you feel, you have grown in the professional front in terms of contribution, monetary benefits, and social status, rate yourself on the higher side and vice versa.

Similarly, on the health front, rate yourself depending upon your health conditions.

On wealth aspects, rate yourself on your capability on earning, saving, investment, and spending aspects. On relationship aspects, you can measure your relationship quality with your circle.

Likewise, in all the categories, do the self-assessment and measure your balancing aspects. If you find some imbalanced profile, that will give you awareness of the focus area.

When i administer this assessment in my workshop, the result brings eye-opening experience for the participants as i think this is one of the powerful self-awareness tools for self-awareness.

The point is self-awareness is the starting point for all emotional management in the professional environment.

More you are aware of yourself in terms of values, beliefs, strengths, areas for improvement, purpose, organizing self, better you are on emotional management.

Let us discuss more on channelizing the emotions in next week. 

Aware of Personal Values

Aware of Personal Values 
(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we are learning some of the ways to be more aware of self, let us understand the power of personal values in decision making and managing our emotions in the workplace.

What is meant by personal values?

Values are things that we regard as very important for us. Some examples of values could be equality, honesty, learning, pride, effort, perseverance, loyalty, commitment, faithfulness, money, relationship, love, care, kindness, health, family, career and so on. Each one of us has some deep-rooted importance or values on the subconscious level, and it directs the emotions at an appropriate time.

We make decisions based on the values and we use them as a compass to enhance the positive emotions or to avoid negative emotions. When we have clarity on our core value, i.e., what is very much essential for us, that will help us to resolve any hidden conflicts, remove internal stress and outburst in any decisions.

For example,

You might have observed some people that they used to make quick decisions when it comes to career vs. family as they have clarity on what they want. Some take career growth over family, happy with that, and vice versa. Because they are clear about what is important for them, and they align the decision. When you force yourself to decide on against your internal value system, you get into the trap of value conflict, and that will affect your emotions severely.

A few years back, i  collaborated with a known person for the business. Within a month of working together, i  felt discomfort and developed internal stress as there was value conflict between us. I valued much on process, methodological working, slow  and my partner valued much on the result, speed and revenue generation. Within a short time, we closed the partnership deal. There is nothing wrong with the individual's choice of values; both are right. But when there is value conflict, it is not going to be beneficial to anyone in the long term.

You might have come across similar situations with your friends, family members, colleagues and the quality of the relationship is based on value alignment and value conflict.

The point is that being aware of personal values and value alignment is a very much important aspect for intrapersonal, interpersonal, and organizational harmony and growth.

When you are aware of your values, you will get clarity on your priorities and importance. This clarity will help you to make the right decisions and keeping your emotions in a positive mode.
 

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Action:
List down the important things for you and finally shortlist the TOP3 values. Check whether it is aligned with your aspirations and with others.
Finetuning and altering the values with the help of the coach will change the direction of life. 

Power of belief on emotions

Power of belief on emotions  
(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)


 

As we are learning some of the ways to be more aware of self, let us understand the power of beliefs and values in shaping our personality and in managing our emotions at the workplace.

What is meant by belief?

Beliefs are the assumptions that we make about ourselves, about others and the world. There is no truth in that, it is not a fact, but we tend to believe it true. That is strange about the belief systems.

For example, some of us believe that some numbers are lucky nos. Say No 7. There is no logic, no fact, but we believe in that. That belief drives us to choose our vehicle no ending with 7 or choosing mobile no end with 7 and so on…. That belief comes from coincidental or experiences on many occasions, and we use to believe that is true. Those beliefs are driving us towards appropriate emotions and actions which propel for growth or limits from the growth.

Some of the  examples of beliefs we may have

More money, more fun
More money, more trouble
Meetings are wasting of time
My team will do anything for me
My team will never do anything without my follow-up
My intuition is always right
I am more productive in the late evening work
I will have stomach pain on Monday morning!

All the above may not be fact, but we believe it as truth.

How does belief impact our emotions and actions?

Whether the belief may be empowered or limited, it is impacting our emotions and actions.

For example,

I know one business head who firmly believes that his product quality is superior to competitors, and his business is surviving only because of quality. That is his belief, whether empowering or limiting belief does not matter. How this belief drives his emotions and actions is that he will never tolerate any people’s behavior, which is affecting the quality, and he never hesitates to invest for the sake of enhancing quality. That way, his belief is positively driving his emotions and actions. The customer is happy to work with him.

Another example is one manager strongly believes that he is the only person who can do his functional activity with perfection, and he also believes that his team members are not that much capable of executing well. Because of the belief, he uses to do all the job by himself and rarely he delegates. Even after delegation, if he finds poor execution, he loses his temper and creates havoc in the workplace. People try to avoid him.

In both examples, the underlying cause behind the behavior or action is the BELIEF.

The point is whether the belief is empowered or limited; it drives our emotions and behavior. We need to be aware of our own beliefs and able to classify whether it is empowering or limiting us.

Your awareness will help to take action to strengthen empowering belief or to eliminate limiting belief.
 

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Action :

Just write down your beliefs you are holding about yourself, family, team, profession, or your business and be aware of its nature, whether empowering you or limiting you!

That is the starting point to manage the emotions in the workplace

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.
Let us discuss more on beliefs and values next week

Self Awareness - SWOT Analysis

Self Awareness - SWOT Analysis
(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)



 

Having discussed the importance of self-awareness last week, let us discuss some of the methodologies through which you can be aware of yourself better.

1. Self Introspection through SWOT analysis
2. Values and Beliefs clarity
3. Identifying purpose and passion 

 
First, let us discuss one of the powerful methods of knowing self is through SWOT analysis. As most of us aware that this SWOT tool is being used for business purposes, and it can be being used for personal development as well.

SWOT  stands for is Strength, Weakness, or area for improvement, Opportunities, and Threats. 

a brief idea about each element

 Strength :

Everyone has unique strengths. Identifying and leveraging is one of the aspects of self-awareness. Self can define strength by listing out all positive attributes or by taking reference from other's feedback or opinion as expressed frequently.

For example, you may be realizing that you are good at "thinking creatively," that is your strength. Or others also might have mentioned this quality many times. 
 
Weakness or Area for Improvement:
 
Weakness or Area for Improvement is quite the opposite of strength. Some of the areas which you may think to improve further or others might have mentioned frequently.
 
For example, you may be thinking that you are not good at listening. Some people might have pointed at your poor listening. You might come across many occasions you made the task complicated due to poor listening ability. Those are all clues that you need to improve further on listening skills.

In my opinion, there is no weakness in personal capabilities; it is only an "area for improvement." Anything can be improved over some time if we have awareness and take action.
 
Opportunity :
 
Opportunity is nothing, but when you leverage your strength, that will become an opportunity or the changes in the external world that will give you a chance to leverage.
 
For example, if you identify your creativeness as strength, what are the opportunities that exist to explore?
 
Threat:
 
The threat is quite the opposite of opportunity. When you are not addressing your area of improvement for a longer duration, that will become a threat to your survival or growth. Also, you can identify the change in the environment, and if you are not updated, that will become a threat.
 
The point is SWOT as a tool that helps you to streamline your thought processes to know yourself better. This analysis can be done at least once in a year that will give more clarity about yourself. I have been using this analysis myself for the last 25 years and finding useful.
 

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Action plan

Identify your strength, areas for improvement, opportunities, and threats in your personal and professional areas that will give you some level awareness about you.
 

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Initially, articulating seems to be difficult, and this analysis is an iterative process.

Emotionally connecting with others.

As discussed, to make effective communication in a professional environment, three factors are essential viz, your subject expertise, emotionally connecting with a person, and logically connecting with facts.

Having discussed the need for developing your expertise, let us understand“emotionally connecting with the person.”
 What is meant by emotionally connecting with the person?

It is preparing yourself and another person to be in a comfortable zone before and during an interaction.

Unless both are in the same level of comfortable zone, there is a chance for misinterpretation of communication.
 
Some of the factors help to be in a comfortable zone.
 Displaying respect / making others feeling good
Your friendly body postures
Your undivided attention to others
Listening and prompting
Addressing the lingering question of what is in it for me
Feedback

Naturally, not all people are capable of deep listening while interacting since many emotions are being processed inside the minds like fear, curious, the anxiety of what next, etc.

When different emotions are being processed internally, listening capability is reduced, and misinterpretation happens. So, it is essential to make others prepared to be in a comfortable zone during interaction by using the above factors.

Even if you are expert in a subject and excellent in logic and not equally good in connecting with others, your communication will get failed. It would help if you learned the art of connecting with others with simple, robust processes in all factors.
 Let us discuss the techniques with simple examples in next week!
 

Preserving Quality of Relationship

    

Most of the time, we use to be emotionally upset or hurt by close relationships like family members, relatives, friends due to their communications, behaviors or actions. Any stranger may not have much impact on our emotions.

      When we emotionally upset, either we tend to reciprocate to them with outburst or we tend to think too much about the incidents or the person who causes the hurt. Eventually, without our consciousness, we start recalling all unfavorable moments with the person in the past and it reinforces our emotional outburst further. In this process, we spoil our health/mind and further strain the quality of the relationship.

     What is required at the moment is just awareness on our thought process. Instead of rewinding one bad moment for many times and affecting the relationship, rewind the Positive moments many times and cherish the relationship. They are dear ones and part of our lives on many occasions as wellwisher. The quality of the relationship has to be preserved without any further straining the relationship with our thought process.The point is some relationship come across your life and stays with you for a long time for a purpose and it has to be preserved even though a few emotional outbursts happen. It needs awareness, patience, and compassion!!.

How to quickly overcome when you feel low?

The difference between a person, who is happy and someone is unhappy, is not about how often they feel low or depressed. It is how they deal with “low mood” situation.

For example, most of us, when we feel bored, sad or feeling low, what we use to do? Immediately we switch over to browse WhatsApp, Facebook or changing the channels on TV. The strange thing is even after completing all the outlets; again we feel sad or depressed. The reason is that we are not accepting the reality of the state and allow our mind to undergo the feeling of low .Instead we switch to others.

Just experiment this when you feel low. Be open and accept that you are feeling sad, and go through the moment of sadness for a few minutes. You will surprise that you come up with the positive mood in a moment. Instead, if you look for some outlet, you are suppressing the reality, and again you start feeling low.

As I observed a few highly effective people when they feel low or hear bad news, they accept that moment and use to be calm for a few moments. Then they recover back quickly to their routine.

Hence accept – undergo – get back. This requires your awareness of your intention when you feel bad and overcome it positively!

Being happy to be successful

  

 One day a successful businessman was called to address the gathering on the topic being happy in life.The speaker also was happily sharing his experience. On completion upon his speech, one person from the audience approached the speaker and said, “You are successful in your business that is why you are happy. You do not know how much effort I am putting to be successful, how can I be happy “

The speaker stopped him and said, “I am happy not because I am successful, it is another way round, and I am successful because I am always happy”.

This statement is profound.Being happy is a state of mind irrespective of environment or status. When the mind is happy, it can think through the ways to be successful in any Endeavour.

In reality, most of the time, we tend to be happy only and if some favorable conditions are met. There should not be any reason to be happy.It just requires awareness.

Be happy and makes other happy with your presence!

Mind your intention while giving feedback

One of the routine activities we are doing every day either at home or in a professional environment is to give feedback to others for their behavior or performance.Have you wondered how many times the “pointing out “ or feedback ends up with disagreement, argument, resentment or silence vengeance from others?

One of the reasons could be the tone we use in our feedback conversation. The quality of tone comes from our intentions.If our intention is to find fault with others and if we use the feedback as an opportunity, our tone will be more of commanding, sound .dictating and harsh.This results only in reaction from others and leads to poor consequence only.Alternatively, if our intention is to correct or help the other person to improve his or her behavior or action next time, then our tone obviously would be with more empathy, kindness and gentle.

Your tone results into the consequence of either arguments or accepting your views in a positive perspective.Hence mind your intentions, which will take care of your tone which will, in turn, take care of the quality of relationship with others.