Showing posts with label Real incident. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Real incident. Show all posts

Tuesday 11 August 2020

Misconception about empathy and performance

 Misconception about empathy and performance

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)



One of the responses for last week's discussion on "empathy or looking at the things from other's views" is that if we start looking at things from other's views, that leads into lenience and, in turn, mediocrity in the performance, particularly in a professional environment.

We need to understand the slight difference between empathy and being lenient.

Empathy means we listen to other's views and recognize the cause in it. That does not mean that we are accepting the consequences as such.

For example, let us imagine a typical scenario in the workplace,

One of your junior colleagues on a particular day left the office early due to personal issues. He/she may be the authorized person for a financial transaction, and he/ she had not delegated the task to anyone on that day. Due to his/ her absence, the important financial transaction did not happen, which affected your organizational performance.

In this scenario, as a manager/leader, what choices you had the next day when the junior colleague reported the duty?

Choice 1:

You might have displayed your dissatisfaction with the performance without listening to his/ her situation. In this process, both of you experienced negative emotions or hurt personally.No learning from low performance.
 
Choice 2 :

You might have listened to personal issues, and both of you felt sorry about the performance. In this process, you are lenient and accept mediocre performance.
 
Choice 3:

You might have listened to personal issues, acknowledged it and you might have assertively conveyed your dissatisfaction and his/ her lack of delegation to the work. You made him/ her responsible for not completing the task.He/she might have learned from the mistakes.
 
Choice 3 is the appropriate method of understanding others and ensuring the right management process in place.

Most of the time, we are witnessing either choice 1 or 2 in which mediocre performance is encouraged.

 i recall an incident that happened to me some years back. I drove my car first time in a new city and violated the signal as I was not familiar with the signal points and free left etc. A traffic policeman stopped me and got my license. I briefed him about my first-time driving and lack of awareness about the signal points. He listened to me and advised me to be careful in city driving. But he was firm to charge me fine as punishment and I also paid. In my view, the policemen were very empathic about my ignorance but, at the same time, firm on his duty. That is what required for the people who are at the commanding level as a manager or leader. Just imagine if the policeman displayed choice 1 or choice 2  behavior, then we both were not doing justice to ourselves as humanity consideration or duty consciousness.!
 

The point is being empathetic does not lead to lenience; you need to be firm on your role as a leader in a professional environment for ensuring performance!

Monday 3 August 2020

Channelizing Anger

Channelizing Anger
(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)
 
We are aware that anger in the workplace affects the self and the environment as well. It is an outcome of our inability to cope up, non-acceptance of reality, and high expectation.

Some people are developing the capability to channelize the anger for positive turnout. Let me narrate one incident which i have witnessed some time back, and i learned a new insight as well.

I attended a public seminar in which all the age group people attended along with the family, including kids. The speaker is known for the "family wellness" subject, and he was invited to deliver a lecture. So i could see many married couples along with the kids in the hall.

The speaker was delivering the lecture. At some point in time, there were noises from the group of kids. There were chatting, playing, laughing despite their parents tried to control them. The interruption continued frequently, and some audiences got distracted towards the disturbance, and some people got irritated.

Having noticed the disturbance and initially got irritated with it, the speaker turned the audience and said," Let us focus on our objective." He then continued his speaking with enthusiasm and finished the lecture successfully in amidst of the disturbances.

In this incident, the speaker had choices to get angry with the parents like other audiences or asked them to move out of the hall. Knowing the targeted audience background and his purpose of delivering a lecture to them, he channelized his energy to convince the disturbed audience. He went ahead with high energy whenever he countered disturbance.

He put the purpose on a high level than on spending energy on low-level activities even though he has all the power to execute the choices at those moments.

The key lesson for me is that when we focus on petty things, we get angry frequently as the world is not perfect. When we divert our focus on higher purposes, some of the insignificant things cause anger can be avoided and channelized towards higher goals.
 
How can we apply this learning in professional life?

Whenever we are about to get angry with someone in a professional environment, we need to be aware of whether we are going to battle for petty things or shifting towards a higher-level purpose.
 


Monday 9 March 2020

Look up -insightful lesson

Recently i came across the viral video,(released 6 years back with more than 6 crores views till now ), and it talks about our addiction to smartphones and social media and losing the personal connection with the real, live human beings in front of us.

Director Gary conceptualized the theme by a story of a lost young man falling in love with a woman who gives him direction and their life together without the hindrance of social media.

Suggest you watch this video with Captions twice, and you will be able to relate how much we are losing our time in WhatsApp/ Facebook / YouTube and other social media blindly without real relationship building with the people next to us.

I hope you enjoy it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY

Saturday 29 February 2020

Dealing setback -a leader's mindset


A few weeks back, i  met the CEO of a firm whom I know for many years. He is looking after many businesses, apart from his passionate activities. A few years back, he ventured into a new business, and he had been consistently growing since inception.

When I asked him about this year's performance of his new venture, he replied that performance was not up to the expectation and indicated some no's. I wondered about his coolness and asked about his mindset to manage through this slowdown setback.

His reply seems to be the real testimonial of authentic leadership.

  • My senior team is continuously working hard, and I am not finding a problem with them except the external environment
  • Despite the external reason, we are working on our initiatives, and this will help us when the external environment turns positive
  • Now I am spending more time with the team  to share  more insights about business and their development
  • I am optimistic that the initiatives will bring more business when the external environment turns favorable 

The responses reflect the right leadership behavior. As we discussed some time back, leadership is all about mindset, thought process, and actions that impact others positively.

It is essential during tough times the leader should maintain coolness, not getting into negativity or blaming everything, believe in non-permanency, work for the long term, and hope for the future. More than that, taking personal responsibility to turnaround within the individual or team's capability is more critical.

No wonder that his team regards him as a role model.

Sometimes as a leader, we forget our balance during setbacks!

Wednesday 5 February 2020

How does the environment affect you?

How does the environment affect you?


A few days back, i met a friend after a long time. During the interaction, he was frequently mentioning his colleagues' and subordinate’s toxic behaviors and his frustration to work with them. As I knew him as a highly energetic and positive person, but now he becomes more skeptical about any new initiatives and cynical about everything in his workplace and quality of life. He was much disturbed due to his colleagues/subordinates as they are the people with whom he spends much time.

It is said that you are the AVERAGE of the five people you spend most of the time.  This statement may be true because your environment influences your thought processes, behaviors, and activities. The environment can be family, professional, or friend ‘s circle.

 When you surround yourself with positive and energetic people, you will also start to observe them, reflect their thought process and behavior in you without much conscious effort. Alternatively, if you are surrounded by mostly with toxic people who are always blaming/complaining about everything, you will also start believing in their thought process, and you will also demonstrate the same behavior. That is the power of the environment and its influence in our life.

       As you cannot change the environment completely, be aware of the quality of people you are surrounded by, the news channel you are watching, your Facebook / WhatsApp feeds, and so on. Make a slight shift in the environmental mix by meeting new people, joining educational forums, visiting new places, getting exposed to new challenges, and associating with people beyond your natural circle. This shift will help you to enhance your perspectives.

       Since the environment influences your action, be aware of the quality of your situation, and choose the balanced mix.

P.S: (I suggested my friend look up other functional colleagues, benchmark his boss, and start spending more time with different circles to alter his environment mix. I hope things will become better soon!)

Friday 5 July 2019

Cultivating Calmness in tough times


Recently met a CEO after a long time with whom I worked earlier. He was happily sharing his recent accomplishment in his business, and I was listening to him. Inside my mind, I was lingering with a question which I wanted to get the answer from him that moment itself.i was waiting for him to complete.
 
The reason for the internal disturbance in me was some years back, he was undergoing tremendous trouble in personal life, financial aspects, and his business as well. I worried about his state then. During those tough times, I never had seen him losing his coolness, smiling face, or showing his frustration to anyone and also noticed that he never gave up his efforts both in business and personal life.
 
After he completed his expression, I asked him how he managed through the tough times and his mindset during those times. His reply was inspirational and taught the spiritualism in life.
 
“When everything goes against me at the same time, it means something is working beyond my control. Then why should work against it? Let me accept reality and do my part.

I believe that good and bad times will never last forever. I had enjoyed good times and let me go through this tough time as well.

God is testing my resilence, and if pass, I will get a reward more than now.”

 
In my opinion, this mindset is the highest level of maturity in dealing with life challenges, and cultivating calmness will take us to the next level of evolution.!!

Hope you agree on this learning......

Thursday 30 May 2019

Lessons learned on email communication.


Most of us might have come across the following situation in professional life.

"You might have received an email either from your colleague or boss or team or customer, and the mail content induced anger or frustration within you. Immediately you reacted to the mail by bursting all your emotions by way of words and pressed the sent button. Later on, you felt that you overreacted or subsequent mail communications led to friction in relationships or waste of time. In either way, you might have realized the incident should not have happened."

Some years back it happened to me to receive a mail from one of my clients, and I reacted very harshly in a reply mail. However, fortunately, due to some intuition, I kept in the draft without sending. I had given some time to read the contents again and again. Then I called the client over the phone, and to my surprise, the client responded to my call, patiently explained his views which were quite the opposite to what I interpreted the mail content. The problem was eventually solved and our relationship is continuing till now.

the key lessons I learned from the incident were 

1. Unlike in verbal  communication.we  may not understand the intention of the content in written communication. In verbal communication, we may understand the intention through tone quality to some extent. We need the patience to interpret the contents rightly.
2. We should avoid the temptation to react to mail communications immediately. Email as a tool is not for instant communication We can take time and respond.
3. Even the mail content evokes negative emotions; we can give some time to dilute the emotion Any problem is solvable if it is understood in the right perspective and good state of mind.

To sum up, we should not react to email communications while in emotionally feeling low. Take time and then respond for better relationships and quality of life.

Tuesday 17 April 2018

When do you lose your value?


Recently I received this photo from one of my friends. I am not sure whether this is a  sales discount as a consequence of Steve Smith's involvement in “ball tampering scandal” news or year-end sales push as coincidence. However, this picture reminds profound life truth.

Your value would come down the moment you lose your core life values like integrity, honesty, fairness for the sake of a quick win.This truth is not only applicable in sports, nowadays, but we also hear/watch the news on scandals in all spheres of business, especially in banking, that too, from a respected corporate man/women whom most of the youngsters are looking up as a role model. When they trade their values for short-term materialistic advantages, we lose the respect of those people, irrespective of their education, positional status, past achievements in their profession.

In Life, you can regain materialistic assets even if you lose, but you cannot regain once lose your internal consciousness if that is traded for low values.Hold on your high values for your peace and people under you as they are watching you, They can be your peers or subordinates or even your children .!

Thursday 7 December 2017

Who packs your parachute?



Charles Plumb was a USA navy jet pilot. On his seventy-sixth combat missions, he was shot down and parachuted into enemy territory. He was captured, spent six years in prison and he survived.Now he became a motivational speaker on managing adversity in life.

In most of his seminars, he used to ask his audience “who packs your parachute?  Meaning that who helps you through your life?

His realization was that the person who packed his parachutes held his lives from falling from the jet and he remembered that unknown person with gratitude.His message is in everyone‘s life, some unknown people are helping selflessly either physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. Are we recognizing those unknown people and expressing our gratitude? 

This is a powerful metaphor for us to acknowledge the people who come across in our lives and help us in a different way.

If they are known people like your parents, teachers, siblings, spouse, children, colleagues, business partners, clients, then be grateful to them for your actions! 

If they are unknown, at least recognize and express your feeling of gratitude. That feeling, vibration makes a difference to you and to the unknown.

Tuesday 28 February 2017

You can cultivate a positive culture



In one of my known organization, the CEO starts his monthly review meeting by first reviewing the employee engagement aspects like safety issues, employee participation levels, recognition, etc. then only he reviews other business deliverables. Over a period, this practice becomes the culture of the organization. The people under him also are giving first preference to employee engagement aspects, and now the organization stood great as employee preferred organization. 

Similarly, in another organization, the head always keen at delivery performance irrespective of any factors and his entire team also oriented to the practice. Now the culture of the organization is to deliver target irrespective of profitability, quality level or process adherence, etc.

Even in the home, if parents watch TV while eating, then the children also follow the same, then, over a period, it will become a culture of that family.

The point is we are not discussing the behavior is right or not. The person at influencing level cultivates the culture either good or bad, not the other way around as followers cultivate the culture. If you are at influencing state and if you do consistently same way, that will become practice and culture of your place.

Irrespective of your designation, you are the leader in your work or home. Influence positive and right things consistently, that will become a practice and culture in your workplace or home.

Thursday 16 February 2017

Greatness is in details & care

     
Some time back, I read the interview article by Mr.K.V Kamath, Ex-Chairman of ICICI Bank about his amazing experience with Mr.N R Narayanamoorthy (NRN), founder of Infosys. As they had been friends, one day they went to a hotel for lunch in Bangalore. As they were engaging in a meaningful conversation while entered into the hotel entrance, a janitor welcomed both and opened the door. Kamath was passing through the door, NRN stopped the conversation for a moment, looked at the janitor and asked him with smile “Had your lunch?” .The janitor smiled back and nodded head positively. Then NRN continued the conversation with Kamath and found a table for their meal.Kamath was surprised with that incident and wondered how a  high profile person with many priorities and work pressure had a time or heart to care for fellow human being.He described NRN as great human being.

     You also could have come across such great people in your lifetime either in business or in a personal environment.The greatness is not in a position or financial strength; it is in displaying the modesty, humbleness, simplicity, care for fellow people amidst all work pressure and priorities.

     Sometimes, we are too busy to notice small things which matter most. Our greatness is when we start appreciating little things and care for either it could be people or beauty of this universe. Becoming good to great is all about excellence .

Tuesday 20 September 2016

Real entrepreneurial attitude

       Recently I had an opportunity to meet a very old businessperson, who has successfully built his organization and gained a very good reputation in the industry. His third generations have also stepped into the business and they are actively managing the business. Despite his ageing and health issues, he is having a habit of coming to office regularly and involving himself in important decisions.

     On seeing his passion and hard work, with curiosity, I asked, “Sir, Having created a big empire and developed the team to manage the business, are you not still happy with the growth? Why do you trouble yourself at this age? He profoundly replied, “It is not the question of happiness. I am already happy with my accomplishments, as I know where I came from, but not satisfied. My thinking is always on how to create more wealth to my employees and how to create more employment opportunities to many people.”

     I am amazed with his thought processes and witnessed the person of self-realization. The God chooses the right people for right purpose based on the thought, intention, enables right action and result!.Real growth and fulfillment is when we make our life for others. 

Real entrepreneurial attitude!

Sunday 21 August 2016

The last lecture –Book

This book is from a person, Randy Pausch, American professor of computer science, who died due to pancreatic cancer at the age of 47. As he learned of the diagnosis that he had cancer and was given  3 to 6 months of good health, he delivered a lecture titled “The last lecture: Really achieving your childhood dreams in 2007 at Carnegie Mellon University which became a popular  video worldwide. Subsequently, he co-authored a book called “The last lecture” on the same theme, which became bestseller. 

In this book, he covered broadly three topics, with the intention of giving his messages to his children 

1.His childhood dreams and achievement
2.Helping others to achieve their dreams
3.How to lead a life 

Like other bestselling books, the contents, language and flow are  good.What is really  inspiring is the person’s humor, optimism, positive perspective about life 
 even after knowing his end.He is outlining the value of time, relationship as life span is short and uncertain.Recommend to read this book if you can…

Also, given the link of his last lecture video before writing the book 

goo.gl/LwPWLH

Hope you like it.

Wednesday 27 July 2016

Influence the change where we can

“Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable”- Denis Wiatley

          Most of us are aware of that change eventually brings growth. However, when we think about change, naturally we expect others to change. The frustration of defeat effort, strain in a relationship starts from the moment when we expect and attempt to make changes where we do not have much influence.

        For example, as a business owner, we expect change in external environment like policy reforms, tax concessions, consistent order flow from customer, periodic price revision etc. Do we have real influence on those areas? Instead, we have more influence on the internal environment wherein we can organize ourselves with lean cost structure, flexible system to cope with uncertainties, dynamic team with single-minded focus etc. Channelizing our effort where we have more influence will bring competitive advantage rather than spending energy where we do not have much influence.

       Recently I read  about an Indian CEO ‘s  case study on how he  consistently made a profit  for more than 8 years .During the recession period also, while his competitions were reacting with a price cut to manage the adverse environment, he delivered  healthy profitability. Clearly, his thought process was on “influencing the change where he had control” and his proactive approach   on cost, line up of new products, development of winning team culture in the organization made his organization to manage the tough times.


      Similarly, on individual front, when we attempt to bring change in others like colleagues, spouse, children, and relatives etc., most of the time, we end up with disappointment or frustration. Instead, change our mindset on acceptance, being flexible etc., which is always in our influence of change!

Friday 17 June 2016

Why should I develop my team?

In one of my recent management seminars to senior leadership team, one participant asked the following question, which I think, is powerful and thought provoking.

 He questioned, “Why should I develop my  team  by teaching all my  years of learnings and spending    time to guide them? If I equip them, will not be a threat to my position?”.

My response to this is as follows

1.Assume that you are not developing your  team and not preparing any  successor for you. When management  considers you for elevation or  different growth  opportunities, they think twice about existing  positions as there is no right successor. Management  may want to keep you in the same position till they find an alternative. Who will be the loser?

2.Assume that if you are not  developing your team, you will continue to do the same job forever and how will you equip yourself for new learning’s and new growth?

3.In today’s scenario, real talent will find its own way. If you are  not  taking care of your people development and growth, eventually  your smart team member  find his own way to grow  either in your existing organization or in the new organization. You will be just witnessing their growth.

4.By law of nature, you will grow only by helping others to grow. In the short term,  you may feel, you are not getting what you deserve, but in the long term, your growth depends on  winning mindset, accepting the change, helping others, seeing the big opportunities in the world!!.

Hence, in all dimensions, as a leader of your team, you should develop your team.

Would like to hear your perspective on this question!!

Sunday 29 May 2016

Business model with compassion and profitability

   Inspiring video about a person who started from scratch after retirement and built a great , profitable organization with more compassion to poor people. It talks about Vision, Values, Business model, Spirituality, Possibilities, and Compassion.

   Moreover, while most of us striving for operational excellence through lean system thinking in manufacturing segment, they had been practicing lean operation/ service management and brought efficiency. Actually, that efficiency made their service more affordable and competitive .One key insight leadership is all about vision and execution.

Thought that it is very  inspiring , learning experience and hence  sharing the link below

https://t.co/2HnW47rN81

Hope you enjoy this video…

Tuesday 22 March 2016

Dignity (Real Incident)

Recently ,I  was  waiting in Bangalore railway station to return to Chennai  and the time was around  10.30 pm .A young  boy was selling tea and he approached me to sell  it to me . As I did not have the appetite to have tea during that late hour and  politely refused.But, he  started requesting me to buy a cup. On looking his appearance and  his effort on persuading, I just started conversing with him.

In less than a minute , I gathered information  that  he was  studying  8th standard in nearby Government  school and his ambition was to become a  police officer  in life. During the chatting, he was insisting me to buy a cup of tea .As I wanted  to help him in a small way ( also I wasted his business time !!) ,I gave Rs 10 to him and said not inclined to  buy tea .He refused to accept  the offer  and said “please buy a cup of tea and offer me money  as charge for it".

I was touched by his dignity, bought the tea and paid Rs 10. He returned   the change Rs 2 to me and I told him  to keep that with him. This time , he is very firm, smiley  and politely replied , “I earn my money through my service , not  by other means” and  lifted his tea carrier and moved from that place.

I stunned  with his dignity,  attitude , clarity of thoughts , firmness at this young age.

After this incident, the  following questions  were lingering in the mind  

1.Who had taught him “receiving anything with dignity  and not accept anything free”. ?
2.Where did he learn the persuasion skill  to sell his product to strangers?
3.What kind of determination, he has about his aspiration despite the current  family situation?
4.Is it not a “Divine GIFT” in living with dignity, positive approach about life  despite all the temporary shortcomings?


Pl write your comments 

Monday 12 October 2015

Being grateful does not lead to complacency


              Recently, in the management seminar, I was speaking about being grateful for what we  got in life. After the session, one participant asked me if we are grateful and  content  with what we have, does it not lead to complacent  and stop our growth further? I realized  that I should  have explained  elaborately more about  gratitude, being content and complacency as it requires clarity  for most of us.

My perspective on this is as follows:

               Contentment means being grateful for what you got or achieved. For example, with so many years of  hard work and dedication, you might have attained  your dream senior leadership position in your organization. You can be grateful for the achievement and remember all the people with gratitude. That is grateful and contentment.

               But it will or should not stop you to think next level promotion. Obviously the next level growth demands  further more hard work, skill set  and if you are not ready to invest yourself in skill development and hard work, then you become complacent. To put it simply, when possibilities are there for higher level growth and if you are not willing to invest yourself, that is complacent.


             To summarize, being grateful  and content  will give you peace of mind and that  peace of  mind will enable you for next level growth provided you are ready to pay the price for that. If you are not ready, you become complacent, not due to grateful. Hence grateful does not lead to complacency!

Monday 14 September 2015

The power of faith and surrendering

“Faith is permitting ourselves to be seized by the things we do not see.” – Martin Luther

      
          Even though we possess the knowledge, experience and capability in our profession, sometimes our confidence will be shaken. During such a time, if we are not able to maintain “mental cool,” outcome will be disastrous. One of the ways to calm our mind would be faith in divine power and surrendering.

           For instance, recently I was called for speaking in a forum. Even though the topic was very close to my heart and preparation was good, somehow the new forum, environment and the senior experts sitting on the dais made me inferior, eventually I was losing my confidence. I knew in a few minutes, I need to deliver my speech and no way I can escape the situation and in the back of my mind, I was losing all the confidence and  the contents of the speech. At that moment, it was very difficult to boost the confidence with our intellectual learnings and techniques.

            The only option I had was to surrender to divine power. I was telling myself “I have not tried this speaking opportunity as it comes to me as divine wish. If it gets to me as divine’s wish, how come divine make me  to fail in this? Even if I fail, that is the divine’s wish to gain experience out of this.Surely things will turn out favors in any way.” Within a few minutes, I was called  and surprised my speech came out more powerful and content made positive impacts as I received a positive response from the people.

           The point  I am asserting here is that be faith in yourself, if not, be faith on divine and surrender ,that will make you calm and  life will be good whatever happens!

Wednesday 15 July 2015

Emotional Maturity

“Caring  about people, about things, about life - is an act of maturity.” Tracy McMillan

        In a family or professional environment, if something goes wrong, we immediately tend to lose our coolness or fix someone to blame. In this process, we are missing the relationship aspects and the need for supporting the victims.

        There are few people who demonstrate a high level of emotional maturity. Just an incident happened a few months back to one of my friends.

         One day my  friend  along with his wife went to a marriage function  and returned home . He advised her wife to keep the jewels safely in  locker and left  to office .His  wife did not keep the jewels in the locker   and  went for shopping. When  she  back to  home, she shocked to see that the house door  was broken ,the things inside the house were in a mess  and the jewels were  missing .It was clear attempt by outsiders for money . The wife disturbed with mixed feeling  of loss and guilty of not keeping the jewels safe despite his husband’s advise . Also, she worried about his husband ‘s reaction to her negligence. The  husband returned back to home. While everyone was expecting the furious reaction, he gently touched his wife and said: “ Good thing in bad time,you were not inside the house when rob took place, you are safe,i can earn whatever we lost, nothing to worry “. He demonstrated empathy and maintain his cool temperament in a situation where he could not do anything. At that moment, he  did what was required for his wife.. Where did he learn this art of looking the life differently?

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be less problems in the relationship. This kind of maturity is difficult to attain, but possible with awareness of self and situation.