Saturday, 25 July 2015

If you resist anything, it will persist

“The only proper way to eliminate bad habits is to replace them with good ones.”Jerome Hines

       Most of us use to make commitments to give up  bad habits or unwanted habits. We initiate  effort to  to give up, but  end up with failure as habit will never give up us!!! .

       The study shows that during the process of giving up any bad or unwanted habits, our mind focuses more on resisting the habit and in this process we are losing our mental strength. Instead, focus on developing new habit  or divert your  time on something new habits while setting the mind to give up the unwanted habit. In this process mind focus on a new habit forming and this increase mental strength  than  focusing on to resist.

         For example, if you want to give up the habit of spending too much time on browsing net.If you focus to give up, your resistance will weak your mental strength and likely you may not succeed. Alternatively, while to decide to give up the habit, take new habit like  spending time with closed one or writing or reading, etc. and focus on continuing new habit. Eventually, your focus on new thing will help you to  succeed in new things as well as  diverting you from unwanted habit.

It is because what you resist will persist and what you positively focus will flourish!

Wednesday, 15 July 2015

Invest in yourself

“Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make.It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.”—Robin Sharma

          At one time a bird asked a BEE, “After a continuous hard work, you develop the honey, but a man steals the honey… Do you not feel sorry about that? . Then the Bee replied, “Never.. because a man can only steal my honey, NOT  the art of making honey..

         Sometime in professional life, your work may not get the timely recognition  or somebody may claim credit for your work. In business association, someone may exploit you  and your ideas without rewarding you. Those are the moments are only temporary and short term in nature. The surroundings or others  can only temporarily halt your progress. No one permanently stops your growth. In the long term, your unique talent will become discovered and acknowledged.


         Keep investing on your skill and talent development. Keep investing your time on managing yourself, ethics, purpose, character, motivation and conduct. You will attract good things in life!

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Breaking limiting beliefs

“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is  more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.”-Tony Robbins

         Most of us have inhibition to set high standards or aspiring big .One of the reasons is that the mind is always looking for some reference or role model to get convinced. Once we  believe that something is possible based on the reference, we also may achieve or even surpass the earlier standard.

         For example, till 1954, no one  believed that man can run a mile in less than four minutes.Even medical experts concluded  that it could not be done and humanly impossible. Roger Bannister, an athlete from British smashed the belief by running a mile in 3 minutes and 59.6 seconds. The breaking the record was  commendable, but what happened afterwards, which I think is worth to mention. After he broke the record in 1954, over the next few years, more than forty people run a mile  in less than four minutes. They broke their limiting belief  on seeing the record .Today it has become possible and standard.

         In business or in a professional environment, if you want to achieve new heights, but lacks courage, look around what others had achieved and set the base. This will give confidence or will help you to break the limiting belief.Once  you break the belief, you can also achieve and even may surpass the already achieved standard.Always break the limiting belief and you attract the good things in life!!


Foster relationship for happy life

“People may hear your words,but they feel your attitude.”-John C Maxwell

                Building relationship with others is important for successful  and happy life as  we always rely on others for support and guidance .The relationship shall  be with our parents, spouse, children, friends, boss, peers, subordinates,customers and all those are interacting with us on day to day basis. How can we build and nurture the relationship?

           One is to accept the people as they are.By creation,each one is unique and has different in characterization. We cannot expect others to behave as we are. We need to realize this fundamental fact and appreciate the positive sides of each individual rather than finding fault with others. Once we find fault and criticize, relationship gets strained.

           Second is to develop the trust and it is long term process. On a short term basis, if we build relationship with the intention of what is in it for me attitude, it won’t last long. We need to gain the confidence of others by demonstrating the behaviors which we expect from others.

           Relationship is a two side mirror glass thru which we are seeing others and others are seeing us. If the glass is broken due to discourteous words or rude behavior, it is difficult to re-form. So Let us foster relationship and be happy! ..         


Interpretation of experience matters

“Deep Experience is never peaceful.” --Henry James

       Our maturity and growth evolves to the extend to new experience. Even then, experience alone does not make much impact of growth. The way we  interpret  the experience makes a big difference.The experience  can be  good or bad feeling, but how we internalize the feeling with a right spirit  matters a lot.Otherwise the experience may be passing through as just an event in life.  

       For example, two friends are watching the same movie together, but both  may have different feelings about the movie, because  they interpret the experience in a different way.

       One more example from the history is that millions of people  had experienced  humiliation by the British rulers as same as Mahatma Gandhi. But he interpreted the experience in a different way that   made him to lead Ahimsa movement against  the British. The interpretation makes a difference.

        Similarly, in your professional or business environment, you may go through tough times or may get different feedback about your performance from your peers. It makes a positive impact on you only when you take the experience, interpret in a positive intention. That makes a beginning for the new person in you!!!

Past # Future

“Past does not equal to future.” –Anthony Robbins

      Everyone may experience  setbacks in life either in business or in professional endeavor or in financial aspects. But how quickly we learn from the setbacks and change the strategy is all about real growth.By nature of the design, no one  will be going through continuous success  or continuous failure throughout the life.

      Most of us have a tendency to get into  the hopelessness emotion  during setbacks  and  too much celebration or noisy  during success.  Remember the phrase “Past does not equal to future “ in both good and bad times.

If your past is painful:

Remember past does not equal to the future. Learn from the failures or pain, change the strategy  and approach the life with the new way. The new approach will give different results..

If your past is so successful :

Remember past does not equal to the future. Do not be too complacent about the past. Feel good about the past, be grateful and accelerate  the strategy for being more successful or sustain the success.

Since the law of nature is “ Change “ and it cannot be avoided, Hence, whatever happens, enjoy the experience, welcome the future with confidence and hope as past does not equal to the future!

Self-efficacy

“In order to succeed, people need a sense of self efficacy to struggle together with resilience to meet the inevitable obstacles of life.” —Albert Bandura


      Self-efficacy can be defined as one’s belief in his ability to succeed in specific situations. The success or failure in whatever situation is generally depends on individual‘s belief in his ability to face the situation. For example, if you are venturing into new business or new initiatives in your professional environment, more than environmental factors which alters the result, your belief about your capability gives you all strength to manage any challenges during execution.

      People with high self-efficacy are more willing to take action, especially on new activities. They stay longer in the face of challenging times. Now the question is whether this quality is inborn or can be developed by anyone. The answer is a high level of self-efficacy can be developed by anyone with little effort.

      One of the ways to develop self-efficacy is through observation. It is demonstrated through study about a person with phobia and the person’ self-efficacy about managing the phobia is improved when he observed fellow phobic struggled with and overcome their phobia.


       Similarly, if you observe your role model for any of his excellent qualities, you can also gain the belief about your capability. It is a simple proposition that “if it is possible by others, it is possible by me “. Who could be your role model to observe and learn? 

Gain strength from new experience

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”-Eleanor Roosevelt


         Studies show that 85 % of the population struggle with confidence issue. Since the fear had passed into the  subconscious brain, it is hard to gain confidence only  through  outside  resources like  self help scripts. It can be improved through “ within”  development of  the individual.

          When you experiment  new actions in small day to day activities  and  continuously expanding  your horizons, the experience gained from such action will  improve the confidence.

For example,

If you have a habit of waking up at 6 am, practice waking up one hour early consistently which will improve your will power

If you use to walk for 5 km at a stretch, extend it to 8 km at a stretch as this will improve your strength

If you use to drive only in a city environment, go for long drive which you have not done so far as this will enhance  your courage

If you use to spend hours together on the net, cut into half and resist the temptation  as this improve your willpower

The intent of stating above examples is  to reinforce the thought that new experience will widen your perspective about yourself and this will enhance  your courage, will power or confidence level.Since the experience are fully experienced by you as  “within”, this will sustain your confidence level than anything comes from external..


Experiment and share your experience!!!

Counting your blessings

“When you focus on being blessed, God makes sure that you are always blessed in abundance.”—Joel Osteen


       Most of us are looking at life in terms of “what yet is not received or achieved." For example,  we use to hear the conversation from someone that “I would be happy if I get so and so asset or I would be happy if I get so and so status or I would be happy if i get so and so problems solved” and so on. Expecting something bigger or aspiring for great things is not sin and that is required for internal motivation. Still, for being happy, always keeping conditions with IF and BUT  leads us to miss the view of the present moment and the greatest blessings we have received in life.

       Instead of cribbing with future uncertainties, count the number of good things you have got in  life  like people surrounded with you, the educational and exposure privilege  you got and so on.

       When you count  our blessings, rationally you realize that no of blessings will be more than the problems you have. Also Internalizing the blessings  will give more mental strength to address whatever problems


        Hence count your blessings, be grateful, be happy for having those blessings, you can counter any problems and achieve more in life. 

Preserving Relationship

“To err is human; to forgive,divine.”--Alexander Pope



     Generally, we get hurt by close relationships with family  members  or with people in a professional environment. When we get hurt,our tendency would be  thinking too much about the incident  or the person cause it. Unconsciously, we start  recalling all unfavorable moments happened earlier  with the person and forming  negative emotions about the  person. When this repeats frequently, as they are closely associated with our life, gap is also widening over a period.

   When the gap is widening, even the other person does favor for us, we tend to look at with skepticism .In this process, the quality of relationship is strained .The one way of approaching this mindset is to value the relationship by recalling one best moment  or favor we experienced  with that person. Instead of rewinding one bad moment for many times and affecting the relationship, rewind the positive moments for many times and cherish  the relationship.


     So many people come across our life, only a few relationships happened with purpose, which we may not know the reason . Only in human beings, some relationships are  continuing  for a long time  and let us preserve it with patience and compassion!!

Decision Making

“When people are afraid, they make emotional decisions”.—John Mellencamp

           Even though , we learn structured methodologies, tools and techniques for arriving logical decision, still  decision making is being one of the difficult aspects of life management. There are two situations when we face a decision making dilemma. One is during crisis (urgent) moment and  another one for making (important ) personal life decisions like  a child's education, switching the profession, changing the job, relocation or even the investment decisions.

        Generally, our minds go as per the emotional urge during the moment of decision-making point. Even though emotions drive our behavior, most of the time, any decisions taken only based on emotional reason may not be the right solution. It is preferable to answer for both emotional and rational needs before taking an important life decision.

         For example, if you desire to  change your profession, look into the emotional need such as passion, pride, ego fulfilling, happiness, etc. as well as rationally evaluate  your Knowledge, Skill set, gap needs to be filled and  alternative plans, etc. This balanced evaluation of both emotional and rational need may give you the right  mindset  to take a decision which makes you peace and happiness.

        Be aware of your decision making pattern of all important life decisions, balance with emotional and rational approach  and you attract good things in life!

Stepback

“Take a step back, evaluate what is important and enjoy life.”—Teri Garr

          Most of us have the tendency of “being in busy"always. It can be in professional or business environment either chasing the success after success or managing the challenges with the same approach. In this process, over a period of time, either we become addicted to same methodology without evaluating its effectiveness or become so rigid in thinking process  leads to ignoring  other aspects of relationship, quality of execution, next level growth  etc.

           The study shows that one of the qualities  the successful people  possess is  “being reflective".Frequently , they use to take time for themselves and evaluate what is going on around their life, what is important, what needs to be changed  etc.. This will give them clarity on the behavior to be dropped or adopted, the strategy to be modified or tuned etc for improving the quality of life.


            It is beneficial for health, relationship, and efficiency perspective, take some time for yourself, and evaluate the proceedings. This will give you more clarity on what is right and good for you and your surroundings. 

What do you focus?

“There is no use talking about the problem unless you talk about the solutions”-Betty Williams

         When things are not happening as we expected  or  any problem happens  in professional or business or in a family environment, the most obvious tendency of us    is  “fixing who is responsible?”. For  any  problems, finding the cause is a good thing, but the moment we focus our searching the cause on “People” factor, it likely turns out as blaming, complaining ,justification, arguments and eventually into  personal vengeance .

          Instead, if we shift our focus of searching the cause  on “process “ factor, it likely turns out, what improvements needs to be done to fix the problem. Sometime fixing process  may prevent the issue permanently as well as take care of human errors .

          Shifting the focus on fixing “process” than  “people” is possible with a little bit of awareness on our intention and behavior.It is difficult but possible with practice. For any problem solution can be fixed through process, in turn process will take care people factor also.

Just be aware of your reaction to the problem, shift the focus and you attract good things in life!

Learned Helplessness

“A little more persistence, a little more effort and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.”—Elbert Hubbard

     Some years back a research had been conducted  on a dog with repeated electric shocks in closed environment. Typically, we would expect any sensible dog to seek to avoid the pain of electric shock.What surprisingly observed was that, even there were opportunities to escape from the pain, they simply put  down and whined. This observation led psychologist to develop the concept of “learned helplessness”.

      At times, as human beings, we seem to give up any attempt to change the situation. We  accept the role as victims and  inability to do anything about to change the situation.

     When we are facing tough situations for long in professional or in a family environment, we start feeling that we have little control over it and start believing as such.Instead of taking even  small effort to change the situation we use all energy to cope with the situation. Over a period, we become victims of helplessness.

    You may have experienced helplessness feelings either in  career progression, business growth  or relationship quality.Over a period of time, you cope with that.In this process, your helplessness feeling pulls your confidence  and quality of life..


Hence aware of the areas, where you feel “helplessness” and take action to change it.

Mindset matters

“Anything is possible if you have the mindset and the will ,desire to do it and put the time in.” ---Roger Clemens

      You might have observed that some of the highly successful people lack formal education and business management skill, but they are quite successful in any venture. Also, you come across some people with knowledge and extraordinary business skills, but will not be much successful or achieved much. Why does this contradiction  exist? The answer is a mindset towards achievement.

       It is proven  that anybody can achieve more in life and it requires the  four  factors  as follows
1. Desire to achieve
2. Faith in self and God
3. Consistent Effort
4. Ability or  Skill

        It looks like all the four are equally important, but the reality shows that first three are important and the fourth ability or skill can always be acquired or delegated.What matters most is the mindset and the first three elements are related to a mindset.Even if you have all talent or skill, but lacks in desire or faith in yourself and too lazy to take consistent effort, you may not able to achieve great things in life.


    Hence set your mind for high ambition and be faith in yourself or god and tune your mind for taking consistent effort, then you get all the skills or capability to achieve anything.You attract good things in Life!!

Setting the standard high

         One of the differences between highly successful people and mediocre people is that setting high standards for themselves. Setting high standard means they are always thinking  big and expect more from themselves.It can be in the area of professional or business growth or in a relationship.

The psychological effect of thinking  big and expecting more will be as follows
a)      Always feeling   highly motivated
b)      Not  looking  for external motivation to keep them happy
c)       Always engaging  themselves  in productive work which benefits them and others


In the absence of setting high standards, mediocre people get into the following behavior
a)      Feeling    dull frequently
b)      Always looking  for external motivation like  entertainment, media or other outlet, even then not feeling  fulfilled
c)       Always looking for situations to complain or blaming others
d)      Looking  at the life with skepticism


Hence, for the benefit of your own sake, always set high standards or expectation from you .This will push you to new heights and in this process people surrounding you will also  get benefits.

Environment matters

“You are a product of your environment. So choose the environment that will best develop you toward your objective”. --Clement Stone

          One of the opinions about the Personal development program is that during the session, everyone is feeling motivated and highly inspired to do great things, once they are out of the session into real life, they become  less energetic. This may be true, because your environment  influences your thought processes, behaviors and activities. The environment can be family, professional or friend ‘s circle  beyond the profession.

       It is said that you are the AVERAGE of the five people you spend most of the time. This is true. If you surround yourself with positive and highly energetic people, you will also start to observe them and reflect in your behavior. Without your conscious effort, you will start believing that what they are doing. That is the power of the environment and its influence  in our life. Similarly, if you are surrounded by  negative people with complaining others about all things, you will also start believing in their thought process and you will  demonstrate the same behavior.

       As you cannot change the environment completely, be aware of the quality  and change your mix of environment  like meeting new people, joining forums, visiting new places, getting exposed to new challenges and associating with people beyond your regular environment .This will help you to enhance your perspectives.

       Since the environment influences your action, be aware of the quality of your environment and choose the balanced mix.

Managing fear

 “We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them.” —Christian Nestell

     For most of us, the important reason for not taking any major decision or massive action in life is not due to lack of capability or resources, but the fear inside the mind. The moment we think of taking action  like  a change of job, taking more responsibilities, taking new initiatives, expanding the business etc , the first emotional response   would be  fear about failure or fear about rejection or even fear about success.

      Fear is normal, but the worst part is the moment fear creeps in, we drop the idea or taking action. Instead of abruptly dropping the idea, we can evaluate the fear with a rational approach as follows

Two questions shall be answered to justify the fear factor

1. What worst thing will happen if I take the idea into action?
2. What best thing will happen if I take the idea into action?

If you write the answer honestly to the above questions, you may get the following benefits or clarity on the below

1.   You estimate the maximum losses and your readiness to manage the losses or not .This helps to postpone the action until you get prepared to manage.
2.   Sometimes advantage may outweigh the losses. This helps you to take action.

     In either way, you get some clarity on the fear and this will help you either to take action or drop rather than worrying too much about the fear. You will be peaceful when you evaluate the fear with a rational approach!

Dealing with difficult people

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.”-Dale Carnegie

One of the repeated questions asked during  management development programmes is that how to deal with difficult people in a professional environment. The difficult people can be  bosses,colleagues or even subordinates.

My  perspectives would be as follows

      First of all, there is no category of people as” difficult people”. We have not yet learnt the art of dealing with those people. Accept this fact. By accepting this fact  you are taking personal responsibility to deal with them. This mindset will enable you to learn the skill of managing people.

      Second, do not try to confront those people as you spend your energy on dealing with them, which is a low probability of success. Instead, spend your energy on doing your work.Your result and behavior will make others to turn back to you. Gaining the respect is your responsibility.

       Third, enjoy this experience as you are learning new dimension of dealing with people.

       Fourth, accept the situation and be patient. Time is a powerful change manager  and it  will bring  changes in the environment  or in the person or yourself.Even you  may become the master of dealing any “ difficult” person!


       Ultimately, your peace is important and you cannot  compromise for the people who comes and goes on your life path.

Appreciation

“Unless you have bad times, you cannot appreciate the good times”. Joe Torre

      One of the habit of highly successful people is noticing even small accomplishments of others and timely appreciating.Some of us have developed the reluctance ourselves to appreciate others, even  they deserve for the same. It is applicable for both on family relationship as well as in the professional / business environment.

The psychological reasons  of this reluctance to appreciate  others are
  • Fear of losing control
  • More of self centered as if no time
  • Taking granted
  • Poor self-esteem or low confidence

      The study shows that the person who is appreciating others needs to be in a positive frame of mind. If one  is not in a positive state, he / she  cannot able to appreciate others. Hence, appreciation is not for only motivating others, it is a measure of our wellness of mental strength. Also, It is important to appreciate others on time and no point in appreciating others  when they  left us  or in customary farewell ritual.


Relook  your habit of appreciation of others and frequency, especially the people in your family and the people are working for you. It reflects your mental health. Start appreciating  others and you attract the abundance in your life!      

Emotional Maturity

“Caring  about people, about things, about life - is an act of maturity.” Tracy McMillan

        In a family or professional environment, if something goes wrong, we immediately tend to lose our coolness or fix someone to blame. In this process, we are missing the relationship aspects and the need for supporting the victims.

        There are few people demonstrates  a high level of emotional maturity. Just an incident happened a few months back to one of my friends.

         One day my  friend  along with his wife went to a marriage function  and returned home .He advised her wife to keep the jewels safely in  locker and left  to office .His  wife did not keep the jewels in the locker   and  went for shopping.When  she  back to  home, she shocked to see that the house door  was broken ,the things inside the house were in a mess  and the jewels were  missing .It was clear attempt by outsiders for money .The wife disturbed with mixed feeling  of loss and guilty of not keeping the jewels safe despite his husband’s advise .Also she  worried about his husband ‘s reaction to her  negiligence.The  husband returned back to home.While everyone was expecting the furious  reaction  , he gently touched  his wife and said “ Good thing in bad time,you  were not inside the house when rob took  place ,you are safe ,i can earn whatever we lost, nothing to worry “ . In fact he is not much educated and not earning  much to gain the loss. But he demonstrated the empathy and maintain his cool temperament in a situation where he could not  do anything. At that moment, he  did what was required for his wife.. Where did he learn this art of looking the life differently?

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be less problems in the relationship.This kind of maturity is difficult to attain, but possible with awareness of self and situation.

Conquering self

“It is not the mountain we conquer, it is ourselves”- Sir Edmund Hillary

          Sir Edmund Hillary was New Zeeland based mountain climber. From childhood, he was interested in adventures, climbed several mountains. He desired to climb mountain Everest, as it was the highest mountain in the world with steep height 29000 feet. During 1950’s, he had  undertaken to climb    and broke due to several causes. Even though it was perceived as bold effort, he regarded himself as a loser. He looked up at Mount Everest and screamed “I will come again and conquer you because, as a mountain you cannot grow. But as a human, I can “

         Eventually, in 1953, he scaled up the Everest and achieved the fame as the first person to climb mountain Everest and many followed thereafter. He expressed his achievement as “It is not the mountain we conquer, it is ourselves. “ How true it all is.

         When we come across obstacles, failure, disappointments in any of our endeavors in business or in personal life, the immediate inclination is to break up or get into frustrations. The real success is in managing negative emotions and coming up from failures. There may be a chance to work around the failures by  repeating the attempts as time, effort, process, the environment and energy are very different from earlier efforts.
Actual achievement is not on the external demonstration; it is about conquering our internal concerns, doubts, negative emotions, and frustrations.

         Conquer your internal dilemma in any endeavors and you attract good things in life!


Emotional Setback

“If you so choose, even the unexpected setbacks can bring new and positive possibilities. If you so choose, you can find value and fulfillment in every circumstance. -Ralph Marston

          A life changing events at any age affects us in many ways. Many people get upset  and take a long time to recover. Few people who are strong willed  and able to console themselves, they even become stronger  than ever before. Sometimes emotional setbacks bring  new hope and possibilities.

       For example, no one would forget the tsunami 2004 and its effect  on the east coast areas of south India. One of the victims of the tsunami  is Parameswaran, an engineer at ONGC  and his wife Choodamani. The tsunami turned their family upside down as it killed their three children and seven relatives. The couple  broke down and  even  thought of committing suicide. But something sparked their thought process and  they realized that there must be greater  cause for which they were alive.  They began to provide  shelter and food   for the children  who lost their parents in the tsunami  and  eventually  started a trust Nambikkai (meaning HOPE). Today (after 10 years), they look after  37 children and they found the purpose of their life. 

Key insights from the example:

a) Accept the setbacks, the flow of life  as such, as we may not know the purpose behind it..

b) In any adversity, there may be some positiveness..


c) Sometimes emotional setbacks turn into new possibilities as we do not know the big picture of life!!

Make your resolutions work

“Desire, burning desire, is basic to achieving anything beyond the ordinary.”Joseph Wirthlin

         Most of us have the habit of setting goals  on the new year's eve. One of the survey says that only 8 %  of the people follow through the actions and finally achieve the goal. Why new year resolution or  even generally goal setting  could not be carried forward? One of the  reasons could be the resolutions or goals are mere wish and this alone will not bring the result. The goal lacks “ burning desire”, that mean  compulsion or a strong need to achieve the goal.

         There are two approaches through  which we can have  a burning desire. One is thinking  how the goal will bring pleasure or happiness to you if you achieve the goal. The second is thinking  the pain you will have or continue to have if you are not achieving the goal. This will drive you to take necessary actions.

         For example, you are setting  a goal to improve your communication skill or relationship quality  significantly this year. You intensely realize that  if you improve the communication skill or relationship quality, you can win any battles in life. Also realize that if you are not improving the skills, you cannot even be successful in job  interviews and lifelong you will have struggles.Associate this pleasure and pain with your goal of improving the skill and  this will drive you to take all actions to achieve the  goal.


         Today's action is to associate the burning desire to your goal and start taking action. You will attract Good things in your Life!.

Being generous-an attitude towards happiness

“Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you will not have to hunt for happiness.”--William Gladstone

          One of the way of being happy is to be always in generous mindset. By definition, generous can be understood as “freely giving or sharing money, time, knowledge or any valuable resources of yours to others”.

          Being in generous mindset brings not only happiness to self; it improves the quality of relationship with others and to the world. In today’s liberalized economy, most of us are leading a better life than our parents, even then, the mind is filled with POVERTY mentality only. Due to this mindset, life is looked upon with  insecure and fearful. In a family, the split happens between blood relationship over family assets  is mainly due to lack of abundance mentality or lack of generous attitude.

          But by nature, more you give yourself to others, you get more energy  or resources to take care of yourself. With  generous attitude, life will be perceived as opportunities. When does  one behave as  generous? Only when he feels  that he has sufficient  enough  to give it others or  when feels that he has the capability to acquire more when required. This abundance feeling brings generous attitude.

          You can experiment this yourself. For example, if you use to give  Rs x  as tips to waiter  at restaurants, next time you experiment  by giving Rs 2X;  experience the feeling you are undergoing  and look the reality of wealth erosion fear. Similarly  experiment  by spending  2X time with your family members than usual; experience the feeling you are undergoing and look the reality of work productivity fear.


          Be generous in giving your resources to others and you will attract good things in life!

Chinese Bamboo Tree

“Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.”-Napoleon Hill 

        Have you heard about the Chinese bamboo tree ?. This is different from other trees  as it does not grow in the usual fashion.. While most of the trees start growing steadily over a period of time, this Chinese bamboo tree does not even  break through the ground for the first four years.. Then on the fifth year, this tree starts to grow at an amazing growth rate.. It is said that within four to five weeks time, it even grows to 90 feet height. Actually, during the first four years, growth is not visible externally, but the tree has internally grown and making the roots strong.

       This nature’s creation reflects about our life. Sometimes, our life works   this way. You may be  working  hard  for your business growth  or professional growth or improving a relationship  for  weeks, months or even years and you may not even see  much significant progress. All of a sudden, you realize a significant transformation or growth in your business results and quality of relationship.Here the key point  is your patience to go through the process or faith on the positive outcome or perseverance  in your effort makes you realize the result.

       Any new initiative or effort  in business or even people development or relationship building takes time.. All it requires patience and faith in the outcome..


      Be patience in all your endeavors, keep making your effort and  you attract the good things in life!!

Your most valuable Gift to Your Child – Develop Self Esteem

         “If you don't see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner.”- Zig Ziglar

           As a parent, most of us dedicate our lives to creating wealth, providing education and comfort life of our Child. Those are all important, but the most valuable gift is to ensure our child is brought up with high self esteem till he becomes an adult. The adult who is brought up with high self esteem will achieve big success in life and happy compared to an adult with Low self esteem. Because self esteem helps to foster better relationship with others when the child becomes an adult.

         Even though education, friends, teachers are influencing the child‘s self esteem, as a parent, we can do our part to inculcate self esteem  by following simple  practices  on day to day interactions.

Do not criticize for failures:
              Failure is also part of life. When a child fails  in any action, let  us not criticize the mistake instead appreciate the effort.
Appreciate good behaviors 
            Frequently let us remind their’s good qualities and appreciate.It will reinforce confidence level.
Do not compare with others 
            Let us never compare our child against their friends. It will suppress natural talent.
Involve in decision making 
           For small domestic related issues, ask their opinion. It will make them feel important.
Make responsible for small tasks 
           Let us give them small tasks at home and ensure they are completed. It makes them feel responsible.

           Let us bring up our next generation with high self esteem and they will do wonders in life!

It is time for reflection

“Dates that come around every year help us measure progress in our lives. One annual event, New Year's Day, is a time of reflection and resolution.”—Joseph Wirthlin

                As you are aware that personal growth begins within through self-awareness and realization.This awareness and realization happen through various forms  like reading books, observing others, discourses, learning  from others  etc..But the most effective way of becoming  aware of self is through reflection of self.

           Self-reflection will bring enormous awareness of about yourselves.The more you do self introspection, better you are aware of yourself.But, in reality, it is very difficult for most of  us  to spend time for doing self-analysis. For those people, one of the right  time  is this new year beginning as it psychologically provides refresh mindset.

           This is the time, you can spend time for yourselves, think about the last year progress on family relationship, business growth, health, financial aspects and personal spiritual growth aspects etc. It is time to reflect what went right and what could have been done better, what can be done in the new year  on all aspects of life..

          The reflection of self will bring enormous insight about yourself and you attract good things in life…